My Amazing Red BEARd (March 9, 2016)

Laurel-kins,

My devoted Australian pals Nik and Andy have found me a professional beard stylist. I had my beard growing appointment with her today. I told her that I wanted a beard to rival my friend Scott’s beard. 

I think she did an awesome job. It’s all thanks to the ideas and dedication of Nik and Andy. They not only found my excellent beard stylist, but they found a beard donor who was willing to donate the right color beard yarn.

I had my beard stylist make my beard just a little bit longer than Scott’s beard per this picture that Kristin had lying around. (Even for a human, she’s a weird one. Why is she is traveling with a picture of Scott with screws in his mouth. WTF?) 

Anyway, now I can’t wait to get home! Once Kristin makes Scott trim his beard back to what she calls “Handsome Prince Length”, I will have beard length bragging rights. Hahaha, the poor bastard. My beard will always be longer than his. Sure, it’s easier for him to work on cars because of his height, but from now on when he heckles me about it, I’ll just start stroking my beard. Hahaha! I can’t wait! 

I dressed up in my tux and went to dinner with Nik, Andy, Davin, and Kristin to celebrate my new beard! Nik and Andy made sure that I even had a special bear chair waiting at the table!

I know you’ll like my new look. You like a nice rugged looking bear. I’ll be your LumBEARjack <3

Yours, Always and Forever,
Erich the Smoking Hot LumBEARjack